Flexibility
Dharma practice also requires familiarity with many different opponent forces, not just one or two. Our lives are very complex and one particular antidote is not always going to work. One particular practice is not going to be the most effective in every single situation. To really be able to apply things in daily life requires a great deal of flexibility and many different methods. If this doesn’t work, then we do that; if that doesn’t work, then we try this.
My teacher Tsenzhab Serkong Rinpoche used to say that when you’re trying to do something in life, always have two or three alternative plans. Then, if plan A doesn’t work, you won’t just give up. That’s because you have a backup plan, B or C. One of them will eventually work. This I found to be very helpful advice. It’s the same thing with the Dharma: if method A doesn’t work in some particular situation, we always have a backup plan. There are other things we can turn to. All this is obviously based on study, on learning various methods and meditations, which we then practice in preparation, like we do with physical training. We work to train ourselves to be familiar with these methods so that we can actually apply them in daily life when we need them. This requires looking at Dharma practice not as a hobby, but as a full-time commitment.
Avoiding Extremes
We apply Dharma practice in our families. We apply it in dealing with our parents, with our children, and in dealing with the people at work. In doing this, we need to avoid various extremes. We mentioned a little bit of this already. We have to avoid the extreme of putting the blame for our problems on others or the blame wholly on ourselves — both of us contribute. We can try to get other people to change, but it is easiest to change ourselves.
Self-improvement, then, is the focus; but in doing this, we have to try to avoid the extreme of narcissistic self-preoccupation. With self-preoccupation, we are always looking at just ourselves and don’t pay attention to anybody else. This can reinforce the feeling that we’re the center of the universe and our problems are the most important ones in the world. No one else’s problems are important or hurt.
Another extreme is thinking that we’re all bad or we’re all good. It’s true that we need to recognize our difficult sides, the sides we need to work on. But we also need to recognize our positive sides, our positive qualities, so that we can develop them more and more. Many of us Westerners have low self-esteem. If we focus too much on our problems and confusion, this can easily reinforce that low self-esteem. This is not the point at all.
At the same time as keeping watch on our disturbing emotions, we need to balance this with remembering our good qualities. Even the cruelest people do have some experience of good qualities. Undoubtedly they’ve had the experience of holding a puppy or kitten in their laps, petting it, and feeling a little warmth toward it. Almost everyone has at least had that experience. So we recognize that we are capable of giving some warmth like this and, in this way, we see our positive sides as well. Dharma practice is not just working on our negative sides; it must be balanced. We need to work on reinforcing our positive sides too.
In doing this, in trying to sustain a balance between looking at our shortcomings and at our good qualities, we need to avoid another set of extremes. One extreme is guilt, “I’m bad. I should practice and since I’m not practicing, I’m even worse.” This word shouldneeds to be eliminated from our way of looking at Dharma practice. It is never a matter of “should.” If we want to rid ourselves of the problems we have and avoid further ones in the future, the healthiest attitude is to think, simply, “If I want to get rid of my problem, this practice will do that.” Now, whether or not we do the practice, that’s our own choice. Nobody is saying, “You should do this and, if you don’t do it, you’re bad.”
But, we also need to avoid the other extreme, which is the extreme of, “We are all perfect; just see your Buddha-nature and everything is perfect.” This is a very dangerous extreme because it can lead to the attitude that we don’t need to change; we don’t need to stop or give up any of our negative ways because we are already perfect. We need to avoid both these extremes — feeling we’re bad or feeling we’re perfect. Basically, we need to takeresponsibility for ourselves. That’s the main key for integrating the Dharma in our daily lives. We take responsibility for ourselves, to do something about the quality of our lives.
Inspiration
While working on ourselves, we can gain inspiration from spiritual teachers, as well as from the community of other people who are practicing with us. However, for most people, fantastic stories about masters many centuries ago being able to fly through the air is not a stable source of inspiration from teachers. That’s because such things are really difficult to relate to and they tend to lead us into the whole magic trip. Best are living examples whom we actually have some contact with, even if that contact is minimal.
Buddhas or truly qualified teachers are not trying to impress us, nor are they trying to inspire us. The example is that they are like the sun. The sun doesn’t try to warm people; just the way the sun is naturally warms others. The same thing is true with great spiritual teachers. They inspire us spontaneously and naturally from the way that they are in life, their character, and their ways of dealing with things. It’s not the magic tricks. What’s the most inspiring is more realistic and down to earth.
I remember Dudjom Rinpoche. He died many years ago. He was the head of the Nyingma lineage and was one of my teachers. He had terrible asthma. I have asthma too and so I know what it’s like to have difficulty breathing. I know how difficult it is to teach when you can’t breathe normally, because all your energy has to be directed inwards to get enough air. It’s very difficult for your energy to go out in that situation. Yet, I would see Dudjom Rinpoche having terrible asthma and still going up on stage and teaching. He wasn’t the slightest bit disturbed by the asthma and dealt with it in an incredible way while giving amazing teachings. This was unbelievably inspiring, very down to earth, no big magic trick. It’s dealing with real life situations and that’s inspiring.
As we go along the spiritual path and make progress, we can also get inspiration from ourselves. This, too, is an important source of inspiration. We gain inspiration from our own progress. But, we have to be very delicate in doing this. Most people can’t handle this factor emotionally, because the tendency is to get arrogant and proud if we make some progress. So, we have to define carefully what we mean by progress.
Progress on the Path
First of all, we have to realize that progress is never linear; it goes up and down and up and down. This is one of the main characteristics of samsara, and it’s not just talking about higher and lower rebirths. Going up and down also refers to everyday life. Now I feel happy; now I feel unhappy. Our moods go up and down. Now, I feel like practicing, now I don’t feel like practicing — that goes up and down all the time, so don’t be surprised. In fact, it’s going to continue like that until we become an arhat, a liberated being, free from samsara. Up until that point, which is unbelievably advanced, samsara is going to continue going up and down. So don’t get discouraged when, after having been practicing a very long time, all of sudden we get into difficulty in a personal romantic relationship. Suddenly, we’re emotionally upset — this happens! It doesn’t mean that we’ve been a terrible practitioner. It’s just natural, given the reality of our samsariccondition.
Miracles don’t usually happen in Dharma practice. If we want to apply Dharma to daily life, don’t expect miracles, especially not in our progress. How do we measure progress realistically? His Holiness the Dalai Lama says, don’t just look in terms of a year or two of Dharma practice. Look in terms of five or ten years of practice to check, “Am I a calmer person than I was five or ten years ago? Am I able to handle more difficult situations and not get so upset or thrown by them?” If we are, we’ve made some progress and that’s inspiring. We still have problems, but this gives us strength to go on. We don’t get so upset in difficult situations when things go badly. We’re able to recover more quickly.
When we talk about ourselves as a source of inspiration, the main point is that this inspiration gives us the strength to continue on the path. This is because we’re convinced that we’re going in the right direction. And we are only convinced that we’re going in the right direction if we have a realistic idea of what it means to go in that direction — namely that, while going in that general direction, we’ll continually be going up and down.
These are some general ideas of how to integrate the practice of Dharma into daily life. I hope they are helpful. Thank you.
Nguyên tác: Integrating Dharma into Our Lives
Tác giả: Alexander Berzin; Bok, Poland – Chuyển ngữ: Tuệ Uyển
Theo tangthuphathoc.net/bvk/23-hnppvatrongcuocsongcuachungta.htm
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